Saturday, September 17, 2011

While I'm Waiting

I have a special place in my heart for the song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller. I can't think of another time this song has described my heart than today.

I have prayed like I have never prayed before, during our adoption journey. I know this is where God wants our family to be, but the journey is heartbreaking nonetheless. I am madly in love with the two little cuties that I hope to call my son and daughter soon.

Since I have felt God's blessing on this journey every step of the way, I thought this gave me the right to figure out a time line for our adoption. I had an imaginary timeline in my mind that was neither from God or from our agency. I know I have issues with control. And then things slowed down. I "patiently" waited through the slow process made even slower. I made a good effort to "go with the flow". But as soon as I found out that there was a chance we could go to court, I made up my mind that this was it. That we would pass. That we would be a family of six. That the babies I held more than three months ago would be my son and daughter forever. I prayed, I cried, I threw the biggest adult temper tantrum known to man ;) surely God appreciated my passion...right?

But God didn't answer. Not yet. He whispered "Wait on My perfect timing". "Trust Me, that I have orchestrated every circumstance according to My will". "You are not forgotten, or loved less because you wait". Wow, powerful words God. In my weakest moment, He is revealing more than I deserve.

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