To the Moon and Back

Say Cheese

2012-03-07T14:14:00.000-05:00

Not much time theses days to blog.

But just enough to show their smiling faces.

Lessons from our first week together

2012-02-27T12:06:00.000-05:00

This week has been a wonderfully busy and joyful. There is an air of newness for all our children as they discover more about each other, living in a larger family and of course our new little ones learn more about life in America. Here are some things that have been extremely helpful to manage the chaos that is going on:

1. Preserving some of the familiar
We have spices and condiments that the children are used to in Ghana. I learned to fix a couple of basic recipes that I know they will eat. This seems to bring them so much comfort as much has changed. They are slowly trying new foods, but this is ALL at the pace. We also know a few basic phrases in their native language Twi: "are you ok?" and "come here" are the most used. I love to be able to check on them in their native language as they will give me a quick "yeah yeah" when they are ok and a head shake when something is wrong.

2. Schedule
Our son does better when he knows what to expect. In Ghana he had a predictable day with school and meals and all that has changed. Since he knows a little English, I usually hold one finger up and tell him what comes first. Then I hold two fingers up and tell the next thing. I usually stop at three and one of them is always a meal. Initially he was unsure if we would continue to feed him, so this was reassuring.

3. Attachment
I know attachment is a lengthy process but I try to discover opportunities whenever possible. Today we played games that encouraged eye contact and staying close to Mommy and Daddy. In the case of siblings, we also try to have times when they are playing separately as they tend to ask each other for help instead of a parent. We use phrases like "Mommy will help you" and "Daddy will keep you safe" to reaffirm when we help them with a task. Agyeiwaa loves to be carried and each day I carry her while completing regular tasks around the house. She is immediately calm and relaxed.

4. Siblings
I have been especially aware of paying attention to Emmi and Jake while their new siblings demand a lot of our attention. They are at school during the day, which makes taking care of Kofi and Agyeiwaa during the day easier. Once they are home though, we have made sure to find one on one time with each child daily to make sure they are not concerned about all the changes. Since their new siblings have an early bed time by choice, we take an hour to do something familiar with them such as read a book, play a game or watch a tv episode.

5. Avoid over stimulation
When I first moved to United States, I was old enough to make the choice to move here and I also spoke English pretty well. But even then, I was absolutely exhausted each day from all the new sights, sounds, language, noises, food, culture and thinking about every sentence that came out of my mouth. For my children, I would think the same is true, except they didn't choose to come here, they don't speak the language well and they are much younger. Therefore, we try to keep the environment as simple as possible. No TV, very little music, familiar food and simple schedule. We have not gone on outings (other than the Dr office and Kofi went to the grocery store with me) and we have only had one visit from family. We want them to be absolutely comfortable at home before we introduce them to new things and people.

6. Have fun
This is the time we have dreamed about for so long. Seeing our children in our home is such a surreal feeling as we have known them only in their environment in Ghana. We have had such sweet moments as they discover new words, come to us for hugs and as they fall asleep in our arms.

This is what has worked for us during the first week. We mess up, we get better and we learn together.

First day in America!

2012-02-14T21:17:00.000-05:00

This morning, my four children finally met each other. On Valentine's Day, our house was full of love!

After traveling through the night, arriving at a strange place with snow and a bunch of obrunis (term for white people in Ghana), I was amazed at how well the children did today.

The first thing Kofi saw in our garage was a bike, and that is all he wanted to do. I thought he would stay outside for 5 minutes and get too cold. He ended up going outside 3 times today (other times he did have gloves and snowpants) and learned how to ride his bike. I was so proud of him and happy to see he doesn't mind the cold weather.

Agyeiwaa stayed inside and had no interest in the snow. She spent her first day playing with balloons, exploring her new room with Emmi and carrying a purse with a toy puppy in it. She wasn't crazy about our cats, but by the end of the day she let them get close.

By early evening, both children started rubbing their eyes. It was time for baths, prayers and bed time. Kofi was glad to have Jakob to share a room with. Agyeiwaa fell asleep while we were snuggling. I have checked on them a few times to makes sure they are ok. And to make sure I wasn't dreaming. They are really here!!!

They are coming home!!!!

2012-02-04T21:34:00.000-05:00

The last couple of days we have tried to figure out the best plan for our third trip to Ghana. We have price out flights for various dates and every time there seems to be a road block: no available humanitarian flights, change of airline, price, availability of caregivers and many other considerations at home.

We finally got a reasonable plan in place and our children are coming home on Valentine's Day!!! It wasn't intentional, but the day that is all about love will be extra special this year! This gives us a little buffer in case our visas are not printed (it has happened before) so we can change our flights in ample time.

Our family would appreciate your prayers for the final leg of our journey. I am still in disbelief we are this close to having all our children together. 10 more days!!!

With good news come decisions

2012-02-01T06:53:00.000-05:00

Our visa interview was a success! Our POA in Ghana was able to take our children (who apparently were too excited to sleep) to the Embassy before 7:30am and attend their visa exit interview. We were given a print date of February 10th which means that we can travel any time after that with the children.

So with any good news, come decisions. We have to decide when to travel, how long to stay, who is going and what we will do while there. In some ways, I am fatigued with entire process and just want our children here. In some ways, I would like to stay in Ghana for little bit longer and experience new things. There is a wedding that we could attend and I would be honored to do so. Shorter trip would help our "post-adoption budget" as I will not be working for a while. But what does God want? Praying He will make it abundantly clear.

Tomorrow!!!

2012-01-30T17:01:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is the final big step in our adoption journey: the visa exit interview. It will be at 7:30am Ghana time (2:30am in Ohio) and our POA will attend with our children and their birth family. I know I will not sleep until I get the news from our POA. If everything goes well, he will know what day our children's visas are printed. That is the day we can bring them home, or any day after that.

Would you please pray:

- that our POA and children are able to be on time
- all paperwork is in order
- our children will be able to endure the long day (after traveling 6 hours from their village)
- we will get a speedy visa print date
- clarity on our travel dates and length of stay

I know that isn a lot, but we are on the home stretch!!!!

Faith of a Child

2012-01-27T22:27:00.000-05:00

Jake (now 7) is beyond excited to have his "twin from Africa" as he refers to Kofi in our family. Both children are part of his every day life and he will talk about them in a same way he talks about his big sister. His teachers tell me he shares with everyone how he will teach them English "but not the bad words" and how he will show them the computer or whatever he is doing.

Tonight, his prayer was the sweetest. I sense the same ache in his heart as I have had for the past 8 months.

"Dear Jesus. Thank you for helping me behave today. All I want is my brother and sister to be in our family, so they don't have to be hungry or thirsty. Please get their passports ready soon. Amen"

Sweet boy, he knows who to go to. I love his heart.

We Are Grafted In

2012-01-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

I was honored to learn that one of my blog posts was featured on We Are Grafted In this past Thursday. I love to read articles written by adoptive families and this blog is a beautiful place for sharing experiences.

If you haven't discovered this site, please stop by. At least leave a comment on my post to make me feel like a "real contributor", LOL!!!

And please keep us in your prayers. Our visa interview is on January 31st and we should know that day when we can travel to Ghana. Praying I will be with my little loves on Valentine's Day <3

Happy Birthday Jake

2012-01-17T22:10:00.000-05:00

Today, my second born Jake turns 7. To say he made an entrance into this world, is an accurate description of that day. I won't bore anyone with details, but it was scary and by the grace of God we both survived.

Emmi and Jake

Now he is 7, such a cool kid who is full of energy and curiosity. He is excited to meet his "twin from Africa" and finally have a brother. And teach his new little sister "all words in English except the bad ones".

Happy Birthday my sweet boy!

Pictures from Ghana

2012-01-17T21:45:00.000-05:00

Since Eric left Ghana in October, we did not receive any new pictures of our children. We knew if something was wrong, we would certainly hear about it, so no news was good news :) But I really longed to see their faces and get just a glimpse into their life.

I finally lucked out when someone traveled to our children's orphanage and was so kind to send us pictures. It means so much during the difficult wait and I can endure a bit more waiting again...

As always, Agyeiwaa is serious as soon as she sees someone holding a camera. And Kofi flashes a smile. I can't wait to have them in my arms, possibly next month!!! And then there are no more goodbyes!

And the good news just keep coming!!!

2012-01-13T20:08:00.000-05:00

This morning, we received an email stating our visa interview is scheduled for January 31st!!! Just knowing the date is a huge relief, as sometimes it takes a while to hear back from the Emb@ssy. We sent a request for an appointment on Wednesday after our visa packet was picked up and it only took 2 days for a response! Praise God!

And other families are receiving good news from Ghana. More approvals, visas are being printed, families are traveling to bring their children home. And the best news of all: courts may be open again next week. Orphans will once again become sons and daughters!!! I feel so blessed to be a part of such supportive group of adoptive families. we continue to pray for orphans to be cleared for adoption, referrals for waiting families, smooth court process and smooth immigration process. This week has been full of good news as families pray around the clock.

What happens next?

On January 31st our representative will attend a visa exit interview on our behalf. As long as everything is in order (as it should be), we should receive a visa print date. Once our visas are printed for Kofi and Agyeiwaa, we can bring them home.

We plan to travel the week of visa printing or shortly thereafter. We will spend a week in Ghana and the travel home. It's hard to even wrap my mind around it that we are this close.

Another step completed

2012-01-12T21:51:00.000-05:00

Wednesday, our visa packet was picked up. It contains all the forms (I think) needed for our visa interview. We sent an email and requested a visa interview and are anxiously waiting a reply. My hope is that we will get an interview date this month. But once again, relying on God's timing is the better plan.

Last few days has been truly amazing in the Ghana adoption community. All the frustration over road blocks, delays and lack of communication has turned into a round the clock prayer vigil. Literally. For several days straight, every hour there has been a family up and praying for families, judges, social workers, consulars and the general process of adoptions in Ghana. I believe it has been pleasing to God for families with a passion for orphans to reach out to Him in prayer. Each day has brought unexpected good news for families and we have supported each other in an amazing way. There are still families waiting for courts to open again and I pray these families will be comforted during their wait and receive good news of passing court!

It has now been over 7 months since I held my children. I never thought I would be waiting still, but in some way I wouldn't want to change the journey as it is carefully and thoughtfully crafted by God. What a mixed bag of feelings that is....

We are getting there though. Visa interview and then our visas are printed. Everything else is already done!!!!

Memorial Box Monday

2012-01-09T21:12:00.000-05:00

Before my Memorial Box story, I would like to share a link. The Linboom family is waiting to bring their two children home from Ghana, West Africa. 18 months into their process, matched with their son for over 12 months and still waiting for court. As a result, the 2011 tax refund is no longer available for them. They continue to walk this journey with complete trust in God and his provisions I would love to bless this sweet family with prayer, encouragement and support. Please click on the link below and learn about the $12 for 2012 project.

$12 for 2012

Ok, back to the Memorial Box Monday. My husbands work often takes him out of town. For weeks at a time. Sometimes for a month or two. He is an incredibly hard working man who has a wonderful problem-solving engineer brain. Sometimes there is work in our area for him and then there are times when everyone here is laying people off. As we began our adoption process, he accepted a contract out of town because it would be long term and it would provide for our adoption. He wanted to make this sacrifice to bring our children home.

Then, this past summer, we decided that he needed to come home. We needed each other and the daily relationship that only happens when you live under the same roof. But there weren't any contracts popping up locally. We prayed about it and asked God to make a clear path for us. We were both exhausted and missed each other terribly. Our children needed their Daddy home.We finally decided that we would have him come home anyway, contract or no contract. God gave us such peace about it.

Eric went and spoke with his project manager about his plans. As he was explaining how his family needs him, the manager kept smiling strangely at him. Then he said "where do you live again?". When Eric said our town, he revealed that a new project just popped up within 20 minute drive from our home and it would be 2-3 years MINIMUM!!!

So as we prepare to bring our two children home from Ghana in the next month or two, we can be sure that God has provided with a local contract that does NOT include any travel. Daddy will be home for all our children, helping with homework, hobbies, baths and bedtime prayers.

We will be placing a car into a memorial box to remind us that He has provided a job within daily driving distance. For now, the only flying we will be doing is to Ghana to get our babes!!!

I-600 approved!!!!

2012-01-01T08:35:00.000-05:00

After 68 days of waiting, we received the e-mail we have been waiting for. Our I-600 petition was approved. On the last possible day in 2011, but it was here. I was so happy (of course) but focusing my energy on the next steps, which will (hopefully) go by quicker.

1. We will request a date for our POA to pick up our visa interview packet. This is done only on Wednesdays.

2. We will then request a date for our Visa interview. Our POA, our children and their birth family will attend on a Monday or a Tuesday.

3. We will then get a date when our visas are printed. Only done on Fridays.

4. Travel to Ghana and spend some time there before bringing our children home!!

We are so close, yet the timeline can vary depending on how quickly each of these steps will occur. Please pray with us for God's perfect timing to prevail and my heart tonremain peaceful throughout.

Peace on Earth (and in my heart)

2011-12-23T23:01:00.000-05:00

So we continue to wait on our I-600 approval. There is nothing more we can do at this time to further our adoption and now I have to find peace in the situation. Christmas is here, it's time to celebrate Christ. God is stretching me, molding me, comforting me and revealing Himself in the most amazing ways. I reflect on all the miracles of our journey and I can only say that He is good.

Today, as the time neared that we knew no more e-mails would be sent, Eric and I let out a huge sigh. We can stop the "let's check our inbox one more time" madness. Not because we don't love our children or want them home desperately. But because that behavior is all consuming and not honoring this journey. We have a few days to be thankful and continue to trust the path we are on.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year.

Day 60

2011-12-22T07:39:00.000-05:00

The I-600 application that Eric filed in Ghana, is said to take 30-60 days to process. Today it has been 60 days since it was filed. Without any communication from the Emb@ssy, I can only conclude they are still processing it. Or not. Who knows.

I walk around with a knot in my stomach despite the joy that comes from the Christmas season. I have a lump in my throat that I keep from turning into tears by focusing on work, holiday preparations, staying off the computer (which I am NOT good at) and prayer. There is nothing in the adoption training courses that prepares for these emotions. You just have to live through it to know it. And now we know.

My sweet little ones, I know you will have a family (again) soon, but right now that day seems like a distant dream. To have something this monumental so out of our control feels cruel and impossible. God's timing is perfect and according to His plan. I can't wait to get on African soil again and tell you that we are a family:)

Ghana in our home

2011-12-19T15:23:00.000-05:00

The painting Eric and I chose on our first trip and the beautiful masks he brought home from trip #2.

I have many reminders of Ghana scattered around my home. Some are little reminders, such as tiny little dresses that are waiting for Agyeiwaa in her closet. Or the red dirt that I just can't wash off my flip flops because it is from the streets my children walk every day. It feels like a small connection to them as I wait to see them again. Others are items purchased while in Ghana that we have finally began to display in various spots. At times, it is just the quiet anticipation of four little feet that will soon run around this home. Either way, Ghana is near our hearts.

Cross made of recycled glass and coffee bean ornament made by an adoptive momma.

Carved nativity that is displayed on our coffee table. Jake rearranges this daily and tells me what each person or animal is doing or thinking.

The Baby Jesus from the carved nativity. Something about this rendition cracks me up:)

My favorite painting. Vibrant colors just make me happy.

Jesse Tree: our advent journey

2011-12-17T11:31:00.000-05:00

This year, we are doing a Jesse Tree to observe the advent and prepare our hearts for the birth of Jesus. In the past, we decided to celebrate advent Sundays, which has been a wonderful tradition that I grew up with (one of the only religious memories of my childhood). Each day, we read a passage and hang an ornament on our tree. Each day, the devotional takes us closer to the birth of our Savior and connects the dots in the Old Testament. We learn about the people that are the most unlikely candidates to become the lineage to Jesus. God uses the outcast, the rejected and the "least of these" to accomplish His mission. We find tremendous comfort in this.

There are many books, kits and ways to do the Jesse Tree journey. We chose the FREE option, since we are on "adoption budget" right now. I simply printed the symbols for each day, glued them onto construction paper and found a simple way to hang them onto our tree. Some people use a separate tree to hang the symbols, but I actually like the fact that the Jesse tree is a part of our family tree. The symbols are scattered around the ornaments from our family trips and even my Santa ornaments. Yes, we are crazy like that ;)

We chose our devotionals to be appropriate for kids, but also have enough substance for us grown ups. Today we read about God's provisions and it spoke to me deeply. Great conversations spin off our devotionals. And more than anything, it is a time to quiet down, pray together and focus on the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

When God grants Peace

2011-12-13T07:00:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have felt so different than any other time during my adoption journey. I have felt peace in my heart that God has this all figured out. Really, He has. I don't have to be anxious, worried, angry, jealous or mad. I have been all those things many times in the past year. I don't have to make deals with Him about bringing my children here, I don't have to worry how He will provide. I don't have to pray "please God, let tomorrow be the day that....happens", because His timing is perfect. I don't want to make something happen myself, because His timing will hold bigger blessings. I just need to wait for Him to show me when to go, and how it will be provided for. There are doors that are opening that will hopefully be the right ones to provide for the last leg of our journey. Just last night and unexpected phone call holds so much promise. He has been faithful, why would He stop now?

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss my children. I would be lying if I said it's ok they are not here for Christmas (or any other day between now and when they get here). I miss them, I miss Ghana, I miss so many things. But these two feelings can coexist in me at this moment. Peace covers all of it. His Peace.

Ghana Trip #2 Memories

2011-12-09T15:42:00.000-05:00

The Ocean

Eric was trying to find things to do with our children and the playground was closed that morning. His driver Patrick suggested going to the beach for a little bit. Our children grew up in a small village several hours north of Accra, so they had never seen the ocean. Our first trip didn't allow for a beach trip with them, so Eric thought this was a good idea.

Ready to see the beach

Walking up to the beach, Kofi was very excited, but I am sure he didn't know what to expect. Agyeiwaa was just along for the ride, she is such a sweet girl and a good traveler. They walked in between two buildings to see the ocean, and but the time they saw it, it was very close.

All of a sudden Kofi froze, he didn't want to get any closer. Patrick told Eric "he is afraid" and Eric offered to hold his hand. Slowly, they made their way to see the massive water. Eric asked Patric to explain that " on the other side of the water, was America". The look of amazement on his face was priceless. Thank you honey was videotaping this memory....it is such a sweet moment.

"So just on the other side of that water is America?"

And then....an airplane flew over, which for our children stops anything, and they always point to the sky and chant "aeroplane, aeroplane"

And my husband's sens of humor: he saw this guy walking on the beach and asked to take his picture. At home he told me: "no matter where you go, you always find someone from Ohio"

Adoption, sponsorship and a special girl

2011-12-04T15:08:00.000-05:00

There is a girl that I think about often. She is wise beyond her years, has a smile that lights up the room and like so many children in Ghana, she has suffered loss in her life. Eric and I met her in May when she jumped out of the car when we first met our children. She was along for the ride as a helper when our children made the 3+ hour journey to meet us. We were asked if she could stay with us for a little while and we had no problem with this. She was extremely helpful in those first moments when we were getting to know our children and learning a common language.

For a brief moment, Eric was absolutely convinced that she was the reason we were approved to adopt 3 children in our home study. My husband, who I thought was more "rational" out of two of us asked me to pray about being her "forever family". He wanted this treasure to have a chance at education as she is smart and can become anything she sets her mind to. We could tell she was loving and enjoyed spending time with us, but I never had total peace about inquiring more about her. Somehow, we would find a way to be a part of her life, but it didn't have to include adoption.

She asked if I had any clothes her size when she saw Kofi and Agyeiwaa receive new clothes. I opened the donation bins we had brought, and there were many dresses Emmi had packed that no longer fit her. They were all her size!! She picked out a cream colored dress and white shoes. She must have hugged us a million times. when I found a purse for her, we were officially "Mommy and Daddy".

As it turns out, international adoption is not in this girl's future. She can stay with biological family and receive an education through sponsorship. She has a sponsor that is giving her a chance at education and a future(someone else stepped in before we could get it arranged, which is wonderful). I pray that she will find stability in her current situation and love in her family unit. Through her journey, she is teaching us about the complexities of international adoption, family preservation and many people coming together to be her family. This girl has so many people that love her, pray for her and want her to have a bright future. Including our family.

We have sent her care packages and letters since May. We pray for her and we are committed to love her from a distance. Eric didn't have a chance to see her in October, but our POA and Eric discussed her current situation. We sent another care package with our POA to her. Emmi picked out a dress for her during one of our shopping trips and included a blue headband with a flower on it. We knew she would love it.

Then one day I came home and found my husband with the biggest grin on his face. He said for me to open my email. Our POA send us a picture of her and a letter that made me cry like a baby. Thank you God!!! She looks healthy and so beautiful! I hope her world is a little brighter because of our family.

The letter says:

Hello Eric and Jenni,

I am very proud of you and miss you.

I know you are missing me too but I assure you that I will never forget you.

I once again thank you for everything you have done for me.

If God willing one day we shall meet again, good bye

And if you ask Eric, he is still hopeful that she might have an opportunity to come to the US as an exchange student or a college student. Our door is ALWAYS open for this young lady:)

6 months of waiting

2011-12-02T20:27:00.000-05:00

Today, it has been 6 months since I last saw my children and told them I would return soon. While I am so glad Eric visited them in October, my heart aches. 6 months is an eternity to be separated from the ones we love.

Ghana Trip #2 More memories

2011-12-02T17:43:00.000-05:00

Skype

Eric and I set a skype date with the kids each morning. I got up at 6am so that they could start exploring the city as early as possible. Containing two energetic kids in a hotel room by himself was tough, I'm sure... Anyway, my favorite skype memory was when Kofi and Agyeiwaa skyped with Emmi and Jake for the first time.

Waiting in hotel room

To set the scene...Kofi has seen plenty of pictures of his new siblings and he knows them by name. As soon as the video came on, he saw both kids waving at him. My precious son's face lit up and he began to say "my family, my family" over and over again. It then hit me that yes, we are a family. For the first time all 4 of my children were connected and able to talk to each other. Of course it made tears stream down my face....Yes boy, this IS your family!!!!

He then began to ask to come to America. If I had the powers, I would have reached right through the computer and brought him to America.

Some of the sweet things I heard from Agyeiwaa (age 3) were: "good morning Mommy", "I love you Mommy", "my phone"( which cracks me up, because she didn't repeat the words, she actually knows what this means) and hearing her sing songs in the background. All this is of course said with the most adorable Ghanaian accent.

Just typing this up makes me miss them soooo much.....

Ghana Trip #2 Part 1

2011-11-29T19:09:00.000-05:00

Instead of writing a day by day account of Eric's trip to Ghana, I will write some special memories instead. Since I didn't travel, these are "second hand stories" so I will consult my husband for any missed details.

Meeting the Children

When Eric met the children, they had been in the car for 3-4 hours from Kwahu. They likely slept the entire trip since it was still morning when they arrived. Our POA brought the children to the hotel and the children instantly knew him. There was a little bit of time before the Embassy appointment and Eric changed the kids clothes and gave them a few treats. Our POA took a few pictures and helped to get the kids ready. They were both pretty shy and quiet, but this didn't last long.

All dressed up for the US Embassy

Next was the trip to the US Embassy. We visited the Embassy last trip and witnessed two families visa appointments. The families weren't there themselves, but their children and bio families were there and we saw all that happens there on a daily basis. Eric went in with the children and filed our I-600 application. He said it was "quick and painless" and he returned to the hotel with the children.

Movie Time: Cars or Veggie Tales?

One of the favorite memories for Eric was to watch movies with the children after their bath in the evenings. Kofi loves "Cars" and they must have watched it a 100 times. This started the first night and continued every night during the trip.

Lately...

2011-11-27T21:44:00.001-05:00

Lately, I have been suffering from "writer's block" of sorts. Too many thoughts swirling in my brain and I have felt the need to sort some of them out first. After Eric came back from Ghana, God has been speaking to us about our future and how Ghana will fit into it. Our intention has never been to just "go get our kids" and then live our lives like nothing happened. There has been discussions about helping those children who are not going to be adopted and supporting individuals or organizations involved in these types of programs. Also, Eric spent a precious day with our children's first mother and we have so much compassion for women in Ghana who have no other options available to them than placing their children for adoption. So family preservation efforts are also close to our hearts. We are in prayer for the right direction and I hope we will have some things figured out soon.

I have also been in prayer during this time of waiting, that I could trust God FULLY that His timing is perfect. I am by nature a control freak and the anxious type. I have felt a marvelous shift in this tendency and God is leading me through the waiting with less anxiety and less worry. Thank you God!!! I am not perfect, but it's great to know that God doesn't think I'm beyond help, LOL!!!

So we are still waiting on our I-600 approval and we might be waiting a while longer. The last step after that is the visa processing and then we can travel to Ghana to bring our children home!

And we wait...

2011-11-16T21:11:00.000-05:00

All of our papers are now submitted for our I-600 application. We received our "corrected" birth certificate and the Embassy is now continuing the process. Once again, we received a different age for our son, they range from 4 to 7 on various reports. One report states ages 4 AND 7 on the same page.... TIA!!! I know he is not 4 and I doubt that he is 7. Either way, he is our precious boy and we can't wait to have him and his sister here.

Eric has gone through many emotions since his return home from Ghana. His exhaustion has now turned into processing all that he saw and experienced. We are preparing ourselves for the holidays without two of our children and it is hard. It seems that I-600 applications are once again taking a long time to process so we set our sights on early next year for our next trip to Ghana. I do better when I can do something to help the process along like during our home study process. But this is the phase when we just wait...and wait...and wait.

Ghana trip #2

2011-11-05T09:52:00.000-04:00

Eric is home safe and sound. He came home absolutely exhausted after keeping up with two energetic children and taking care of adoption business at the US Embassy. We are missing one piece of paper from our I-600 application so our application will not move along until that comes. Once again, I rely on God's timing in this. Not an easy thing to do for me, but God is smoothing out a lot of my rough edges with this journey.

I have spent the last few days looking at pictures of his adventures and watching videos. He was so thoughtful to take all the video for me as he knew I would enjoy them. He also braved the markets, with two children and his new friend/taxi driver as his guide. The high pressure sales can be intimidating at times, but he got some great deals!!!

Highlights of this wonderful trip included:

Our children saw the Atlantic Ocean for the first time

He witnessed how our daughter's English has improved since our last trip. She has the cutest accent as she would loudly declare "Good Morning" as she woke up.

We learned more about our children's past and their circumstances that lead them to the orphanage and international adoption. Not only am I absolutely convinced that adoption was the only choice for them, we can also prepare specifically how to help them process these past hurts. I have read and heard so much about ethical adoptions as some countries struggle with their international adoption programs. Some agencies even now limit the contact you have with birth family. Personally, these meetings have been the reassurance that we need to proceed with our adoption and we can tell our children that the option of staying in Ghana, staying with family just was not possible.

These children are so resilient so sweet despite all that they have been through. I will share more about Eric's trip soon as it had left him changed forever.

Goodbyes part 2

2011-10-29T13:05:00.000-04:00

Right now, as I am typing this, Eric is saying his goodbyes to our children. I know that he is ready to come home, but he would rather arrive with our children in his arms, than to return them to their orphanage. It has been a week or extreme highs and lows. It's been a week of natural disasters and an opportunity to bless people he didn't know just a few days ago. God orchestrated events that will forever be in our hearts. Saying goodbye for the second time is hard. No, it's impossible. He has a tough task ahead of him and I know he will be devastated.

After a week of blurry iPhone pictures and skype calls in a dark hotel room, I am ready to hold my husband and have him tell me about his adventures. I also can't wait to speak in full sentences with him, as the skype connection worked best if we spoke just a few words at a time.Not complaining though, as I heard and saw our children every day and the day I heard "Mommy I love you" from both of them, I decided that the person who invented skype was my new best friend:)

As I spoke with Eric late last night Ghana time when he returned from the Christ Outreach Orphanage, I could tell that his love for Ghana and its people has deepened. It's easy to ignore the orphan, the poor and the outcast when they are just statistics. Now they have names, faces and families. I can't wait to see what God has in store for him. For us.

Flooded Orphanage

2011-10-27T22:58:00.000-04:00

Two nights ago in Ghana, rain and flooding caused damage to roads, buildings and bridges. One of the places damaged by flooding is Christ Outreach Orphanage. All children are said to be safe, but all their belongings are destroyed. The little bit they owned, plus all of their school supplies and furniture on the lower level is gone. We personally know families who have children at this orphanage and I can only imagine the worry and heartache as they wait for news on where their children are and how they are coping with another tragedy in their lives.

Eric is in Ghana right now, and he witnessed the flooded roads and the devastation. Water on the roads make the already challenging traffic impossible. He visited a hospital yesterday that was flooded and telecommunication is challenging due to power outages. Tomorrow he will go and visit the Christ Outreach Orphanage and take food, water and needed supplies. He will also have the privilege of visiting sweet children whose parents await news on their condition. I thank God that he can bring some comfort to these children.

To help Christ Outreach Orphanage you can make a donation at:
Compassionate Journeys

And choose Christ Outreach Orphanage in the pull down menu. These children have been through so much already, let's help them recover some sense of normalcy.

Also, find Compassionate Journeys on facebook to see pictures of the flooding.

Daddy and his kids

2011-10-24T19:11:00.000-04:00

Today, when I came home I had this picture waiting in my inbox. My husband is a rock star!! My bathed, cocoa buttered babies in their jammies sound asleep. So I didn't get to skype with them tonight, but tomorrow morning, Emmi and Jake get to talk and see their siblings for the first time!!!

Sweet Reunion

2011-10-22T18:43:00.000-04:00

WHAT? My Daddy is coming to see me???

Did you bring me a swimsuit?

It's going to be fun!!

We are praying that he will see this precious girl again, to send love from so many people that want to be a part of her future:)

Tonight, Eric will fly to Ghana so that he can be there to file our I-600 on Monday. Please pray with us that all the paperwork is in order so there are no further delays. He will see our children on Monday morning and hopefully spend the entire week with them.

We have tested skype gazillion times in hope that I can see and hear my children. It has been almost 5 months since I heard their giggles and heard them say "Mommy". I am sad not to be a part of this trip, but I have to save my time off for the next one.

Ghana bound!!!

2011-10-17T22:10:00.000-04:00

Eric got the most wonderful e-mail today: an appointment to file our I-600 at the US Embassy in Ghana!! I thought it might take a while to get a response and when we did, it might be a while longer until they could accommodate us. Only 3 business days from sending the email we had an answer, and now we are packing to get him ready!!

We got the ticket I mentioned in the last post at the exact same price! Woohoo!!! Instead of focusing on the fact that I can't go, I am excitedly packing little dresses and toys cars and snacks for our little ones. I have lists made for Eric of all the things he should remember. Not because I am a nag, but at his request, I should add:) We are excited to take over donations and care packages that the children will undoubtedly appreciate.

I am so bummed that our friends will leave Ghana the day before Eric gets there. I am sure he would have enjoyed the company, but we are not sure how much time he will spend in Accra vs.Kwahu. Either way, Eric is glad to be back in Ghana, learn more about our children's culture and life. And of course spend time with our son and daughter.

$1245

2011-10-16T18:31:00.000-04:00

I praise God for so many wonderful things that have happened this week. We are still waiting to hear back from the Embassy when Eric can go and file our I-600 form. Of course we are stalking flights and for some reason (probably time of year) all flights are the same price for us: $1245.

As I have learned over my relatively short Christian walk, God provides and often He has the same sense of humor about it as I do.

So yesterday morning, as Eric and I woke up to celebrate 16 years of marriage, I went to check our bank account as we both get paid on Fridays. At first glance, there seemed to be extra money there, more than I had budgeted for. A nice surprise!!! Then I panicked: did someone over pay us, we have to know so we don't spend someone else's money....

Eric found out his company owed him a referral bonus (which we didn't think they would actually pay...) and it was added to his check out of the blue. We had actually forgotten about this, since the payment should have happened a long time ago and it didn't. Also, no one mentioned this to him, so finding extra money in the bank account was a bit weird. In a good way. God was all over this decision, as we were not sure if flying to Ghana was the best financial decision, but our hearts felt like it was. Our children are old enough that they know it's been a while. We miss them. Eric also hopes to spend more time with their bio family and visit our sponsored child. Our next trip will be to bring them here, so the opportunity to do all those things just isn't there.

As I looked at his pay stub, after taxes the amount of the bonus was: $1245. Not only did God provide, there was no room for mistaking it as a lucky coincidence. He HAS provided, He WILL provide and He cares about every little detail of our lives.

So Daddy can now go and hug this little girl:

And tell this wonderful son, that we have missed him every single day since June

And some day we can tell them story after story about how God provides!

When do you pick them up?

2011-10-13T14:54:00.000-04:00

That is the question I get asked bazillion times a day. My usual answer has been "praying before Christmas" and honestly, that is what I pray every day. And then I end "your timing is perfect God, but I still want them with us for Christmas". Emmi decided she wants our Christmas tree up as long as it takes for them to join us. So either way, they will celebrate Christmas with us, LOL!!!

So the latest: after passing court, the next step is filing our I-600 form with the USCIS. This can be done either here or we can do it in Ghana. Doing it here sometimes takes a bit longer, but that is not our reason for wanting to file in Ghana. We miss them terribly and they have seen many friends joined with their forever families. They ask about us and someone should go and tell them we have not forgotten them. Since our May/June trip, they have received a few care packages from us, but lately no one has gone that we know personally.

Eric requested an appointment with the embassy in Ghana, and he will fly out as soon as we hear back. He will stay a week or so taking care of business and loving our kids. Since we don't know how soon he will go, we are in trip mode, getting necessary items and donations together:)

I wish I could go, but this time it will be just Daddy....

Rejoice!!!

2011-10-05T21:28:00.000-04:00

12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you,

as though something strange were happening to you.

13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings,

that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.....

19 Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust

their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good. (1 Peter 4:12-13, 19)

I have meditated on this passage since I read it a few weeks ago. Not because I am going through a "fiery trial" like many Christians are around the world. Compared to many, I have it easy. My problems are "1st world problems", my anxiety is often self inflicted. I make commitments out of guilt and I break them out of guilt.

I have thought about the notion many of us have, that becoming a Christian is a guarantee of an easy life, God's constant protection over every aspect of our lives. And when trouble comes in the form of a job layoff, illness, death or even a slow down in our adoption journey, we take it as a sign that we have not prayed hard enough, tithed enough or some other way neglected to fulfill our Christian duties. How many times have we heard of Christians going through overwhelming circumstances and quietly thought "I'm glad God didn't call me to do that". In America, our life is all about being comfortable and having it easy. We want our children to have a comfortable life and we take care of our own needs before helping others. I know I am guilty of this...

This passage clearly tells us to expect trials, expect hardships as God allows these to enter our lives. Our limited understanding of Him would rather bypass suffering, but God is in control even in the midst of tragedy.

God tells us to rejoice in our sufferings so we may also rejoice when His glory is revealed. Instead of responding with anxiety, worry, anger, sadness when I am faced with suffering, I should rejoice? Wow, it seems so contradictory.

So today, in the midst of my anxiety, I will rejoice.

source

Grace "the sequel"

2011-10-03T15:17:00.000-04:00

*The original post Grace was just a beginning of this story. I wanted to post it again, but with an update on how God is working in my life*

Source: weheartit.com

Responding with grace is hard, but lately that is what I have felt in my heart. I was reading an adoption blog, and there was a small sentence about extending grace to people around us. That stuck in my mind as I thought about some difficult conversations I have had with a family member. She does not understand our adoption and is rather vocal about it in family situations. My instant reaction was to defend my position, defend my family and argue my way through the conversation. I have tried to have private conversations explaining our journey, all the way God has provided and orchestrated every single detail. I thought, if I just explained it eloquently enough, she would see that something beautiful is transpiring and she would join in our excitement. Well, that didn't happen no matter what my strategy was.

Then, I decided to respond with grace. When a hurtful comment was made, instead of feeling righteous, I responded with grace and kindness. When she did not ask questions about the status of our adoption, instead of feeling hurt, I enjoyed her company as it was. When a funny story from our trip to Ghana came to mind, instead of forcing her to listen to it, I shared it with someone else. Grace. Grace. Grace. I can't say that it was easy. My lip was bloody from all the times I bit it to prevent my mouth from responding in anger and hatred. I practiced deep breathing to lower my blood pressure as it began to rise.It was a constant effort to overcome my own sin in the responses I gave.

As the dynamic of our relationship began to shift, I realized that responding with grace was just as much for me as it was for her. Slowly, the tension began to melt, my guard came down and I relaxed again in her company. Trust was being built and conversations have honesty behind them. True reasons for this hesitancy to support us became clearer and progress was made. Once I was able to extend grace, she responded with honesty. This would have not happened with my typical response.

A few weeks ago, we realized that in order to afford the final part of our adoption, we would need to raise funds. As we were praying about our options, this same family member called and offered to help. She is now fervently advocating on our children's behalf and I can see that God is using this situation to foster healing.

The only reason I share something this personal is that I know there are other struggling with a friend or a family member who is less than enthusiastic about something in our lives. It could be because of adoption or any life situation that God calls us to that is "out of the comfort zone" for people. What is the response that I should have? What yields the desired result? For me, it has been grace. Over and over and over again.

Source: weheartit.com

It's hard to ask for help...

2011-10-02T19:58:00.000-04:00

I have felt incredibly blessed to say that God has provided amazingly throughout this adoption journey. We started with modest savings, but with working overtime (mostly Eric) and living extremely frugally, we have written every check as it became due. We don't take credit for this, it's all God. Then someone stepped in to bless us in an amazing way. Once again, thank you God.

But the other side of this type of provision is, that I am uncomfortable asking for help, to raise funds or to admit that I can't do it all on my own. It's pride, and I readily admit it.

Right now, we are unable to work any extra as our jobs are slow for the rest of the year. Our savings are depleted. We need to be ready at a moments notice to make travel arrangements to pick up our children in Ghana when all their paperwork is processed. More than likely this will be right around the holiday season, the most expensive time of the year to travel. 2 round trip tickets and 2 one way tickets = more money than we have.

So I am setting my pride aside and asking for help. We are in the process of finalizing some fund raising opportunities, but in the mean time I would like to ask that you would pray for our family. I don't want to act out of anxiety or fear, but find a way for those who have asked "how can I help?" along the way to be a part of our journey.

Lastly, I was just going through my summer photos, and I found this one:

Notice how Emmi's hair is all wet? This picture was taken just moments after she was baptized. In the midst of a long summer of waiting, God gave us wonderful memories to cherish.

I miss these smiles...

2011-09-27T22:05:00.000-04:00

I have a son AND a daughter...

2011-09-22T18:04:00.000-04:00

Finally, it's beginning to sink in. I have a son and a daughter! After meeting them in May, saying our sad goodbyes and coming home, I knew we would be waiting for a court date that would make them legally our children. I settled into a busy summer, organized our bedrooms and spent time preparing for when they would become a part of our family. Waiting has not been easy, but I have learned quite a bit about myself in the process.

I am so glad to call this sweet little boy my son. He is such a wonderful child, his smile lights up a room. I miss his tight hugs, the way he says "Mommy" and his giggles.

This little girl can be shy at first, but she is bubbly once she is comfortable in a situation. She will be a wonderful little sister and I know everyone will be wrapped around her little finger:) I miss her cuddles, the way she rubs her ears as she gets tired and the way she says "Mommy".

Eric is planning a trip to Ghana to file our I-600 form. It is hard to say how soon we will travel back to pick them up, so our focus is on the next step only. I am jealous that he gets to see them and hug them while in Ghana, but I am happy that one of us is able to go and spend time with them.

We passed court!!!

2011-09-20T21:34:00.000-04:00

I was not expecting this good news today, which made it all the more special:) I came home from work this afternoon to find a message that we passed court today!!!!

We are excited to be a family of 6 officially!!!

Although we are still months away from K and A joining our family, this is a HUGE step for us.

Thanks you for all your prayers and encouragement while we were waiting to go to court.

God is good!!!

While I'm Waiting

2011-09-17T19:18:00.002-04:00

I have a special place in my heart for the song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller. I can't think of another time this song has described my heart than today.

I have prayed like I have never prayed before, during our adoption journey. I know this is where God wants our family to be, but the journey is heartbreaking nonetheless. I am madly in love with the two little cuties that I hope to call my son and daughter soon.

Since I have felt God's blessing on this journey every step of the way, I thought this gave me the right to figure out a time line for our adoption. I had an imaginary timeline in my mind that was neither from God or from our agency. I know I have issues with control. And then things slowed down. I "patiently" waited through the slow process made even slower. I made a good effort to "go with the flow". But as soon as I found out that there was a chance we could go to court, I made up my mind that this was it. That we would pass. That we would be a family of six. That the babies I held more than three months ago would be my son and daughter forever. I prayed, I cried, I threw the biggest adult temper tantrum known to man ;) surely God appreciated my passion...right?

But God didn't answer. Not yet. He whispered "Wait on My perfect timing". "Trust Me, that I have orchestrated every circumstance according to My will". "You are not forgotten, or loved less because you wait". Wow, powerful words God. In my weakest moment, He is revealing more than I deserve.

Is she your baby girl?

2011-09-12T16:13:00.004-04:00

Although my blog isn't huge, I want to do my part in advocating for this precious baby girl in Ghana. If you read this, would you please just share this link on your blog for others to see?

Baby Girl

There is a sweet baby girl with unknown (at this time) special needs that needs a family to love her as she is. I have worked with precious little ones just like her for years and I know the blessing they can be to their parents. Because of her special needs, her adoption can be a quicker process as Anita explains on her blog. Please pray for her and advocate for her.

Is she your baby girl?

Meeting "birth" mom

2011-09-07T21:56:00.001-04:00

This day is one that I want to remember well. Not for my benefit, but for our children when they will ask me about their first mother. The term "birth" mom is really not accurate since "H" has cared for her children up until last January when circumstances forced her to make the hardest decision imaginable. I know she loves these children dearly and didn't just give birth to them. Thus the name "first mother".

In the morning, we enjoyed breakfast at our hotel and then headed for a quick swim (see the Swimming Pool post for details). After that wonderful experience, we got into a van with Ken, Michelle, Ryan and Kristen and all of our children (6 children between the ages of 3 and 6). Our first stop was the Kwahu foster home where the other families met their children's first mothers but "H" was not there. I was sad because I was worried we would not get to meet her and she wouldn't have that opportunity to meet us.

We went on a short ride to the site of the new orphanage that our children would live in until our adoption is finalized. It was absolutely peaceful and beautiful there. I was so impressed by all the work that has happened there. It will be a refuge for so many children for years to come.

Once we returned to the current foster home, I saw Eric go inside and I stayed outside with our daughter "A". He came outside to tell me our first mom "H" was here! My heart began to race as I tried to gather my thoughts and clear my mind. I went from disappointed to excited in a nanosecond and I wanted to remember every single detail.

As we embraced, our girl climbed from my arms to "H"s back (in a true Ghanaian style) and began to play with the zipper in the back of her mothers dress. Since "H" didn't speak English, we smiled and embraced each other for a moment and found someone to translate. We learned a few key things we wanted to know. We learned about our daughters name and tried to remember all the details. As we were together, I wanted to be sure that this meeting was not for ME or about ME. This was for our children as they are old enough to hopefully recall this day. They were able to see their mothers and father all together in a loving setting. I don't know what I expected, but this was not at all the way I anticipated the meeting to go. I have such respect for "H" as she is a woman with such grace and kindness.

Someone had music playing outside the foster home and our son rushed over there to show off his awesome dance moves. An impromptu dance party ensued and I joined holding "A". As I was making a fool of myself (after all, my white girl moves are pretty bad next to Ghanaian dance moves), I saw "H" looking from the side with the biggest grin on her face. Not sure what she thought of us or our dance moves, but I glanced back and smiled. Adoption is messy, sad, hard in so many ways. I am glad our children will have this day when their mothers were together and they were able to show affection to both.

Eric at the hotel with "A" and "K"

Weekend with Friends

2011-09-05T20:23:00.001-04:00

One of the greatest blessings of adoption are the friendships that are formed along the journey. One of those special friends is Christy. Her family is also in the process of adopting a boy/girl siblings from Ghana and our process seems to progress at a similar pace. When I have "one of those" days, she is there to encourage with words that come only from another adoptive Momma's heart. We celebrate the small victories along the way, share pictures and pray for one another.

Once we figured out that we live only a few hours from each other, we began to plan a get together for our families. This weekend, we had a fun filled time in Pittsburgh where our families finally met.

Our weekend included swimming

A trip to the Science Center

And fun playing games (I dominated at Farkle!!!)

And this was when I knew our families would get along just fine....

It was a wonderful weekend and we are so blessed to have found another Ghana adoptive family so close to us.

Christy makes fabulous bows at her Etsy Shop Ghana Go Curly to help raise funds for their adoption. I hope to be her #1 client once our little girl joins our family as I happen to know she loves headbands and bows!!!

Laundry Therapy

2011-09-02T18:03:00.000-04:00

This past week has been slow. Each day I am hopeful that there might be good news on a court date or some other development with our adoption, but it turns into another day of no news. I am the type of person that likes to keep busy, likes to have a list of things to do and frankly, likes to be in control. Right now, I have no control over the pace of our adoption and no idea when our children will join our family. That is a tough realization and a helpless feeling.

Couple of nights ago I was folding laundry in the bedroom. I had my favorite music playing and I enjoyed a quiet moment accomplishing a rather boring task. I looked at the basket that was full of clean, unfolded clothes and couldn't wait to have it all neatly folded.

Instead of my usual style of rushing through the task, I took my time, enjoyed the music, folded each item and placed it into a pile.

The task of organizing and smoothing out wrinkles seemed to do the same in my brain. I felt less anxious about everything for some reason. I emerged out of the bedroom and Eric sensed the difference as well. We jokingly called it "laundry therapy".

Tonight, I decided to try this method again. And it worked!! I took pictures for this illustration and now all the kids clothes are folded and put away (added bonus). I'm not sure why this task is soothing to my brain, but there is something about taking something unorganized and making something neat and tidy out of it.

As I looked at these pictures, I noticed Emmi's shirt with an elephant on it. A gentleman in Ghana hand painted it and it is her favorite shirt to wear. All around our house there are reminders of Ghana and of our children. From the various souvenirs we brought home, their pictures to a beautiful painting on our wall.

The other day I found "A"s yellow hairband that somehow made into our suitcase and I couldn't hold back the tears. I pray they know we are coming back. I pray they know the wait is out of our control....

Grace

2011-08-22T22:28:00.000-04:00

Responding with grace is hard, but lately that is what I have felt in my heart. I was reading an adoption blog, and there was a small sentence about extending grace to people around us. That stuck in my mind as I thought about some difficult conversations I have had with a family member. She does not understand our adoption and is rather vocal about it in family situations. My instant reaction is to defend my position, defend my family and argue my way through the conversation. I have tried to have a private conversations explaining our journey, all the way God has provided and orchestrated every single detail. I thought, if I just explained it eloquently enough, she would see that something beautiful is transpiring and she would join in our excitement. Well, that hasn't happened no matter what my strategy has been.

Then, I decided to respond with grace. When a hurtful comment was made, instead of feeling righteous, I responded with grace and kindness. When she did not ask questions about the status of our adoption, instead of feeling hurt, I enjoyed her company as it was. When a funny story from our trip to Ghana came to mind, instead of forcing her to listen to it, i shared it with someone else. Grace. Grace. Grace. I can't say that it was easy. My lip was bloody from all the times I bit it to prevent my mouth from opening. I practiced deep breathing to lower my blood pressure as it began to rise.

As the dynamic of our relationship began to shift, I realized that responding with grace was just as much for me as it was for her. Slowly, the tension is melting, my guard is coming down and I relax again in her company. Trust is being built and conversations have honesty behind them. True reasons for this hesitancy to support us is becoming clearer and there is progress.

The only reason I share something this personal is that I know I can't be the only one experiencing this. It could be because of adoption or any life situation that God calls us to that is "out of the comfort zone" for people. What is the response that I should have? What yields the desired result? For me, it has been grace. Over and over and over again.

Next year...

2011-08-18T21:09:00.000-04:00

Our family had a wonderful trip to the northern part of Michigan with my in-laws and nephews. It was a long weekend filled with time at the beach, bocce ball, card games and fun time with family. Since we opted to stay close to home this summer, this was a welcomed break to unwind and "unplug". Literally, we had no internet or phone service the entire time. Last time that happened was in Ghana:)

Family picture

Eric and I took a walk on the beach at sunset. This is the best picture I managed to take

Looking for snails by the rocks

Emilia showing where we were on the map

On the way home we stopped by Frankenmuth, Michigan for Eric's birthday lunch. He chose this place because of their fried chicken. He hasn't had it for over 10 years and it was as good as he remembered.

Of course, the weekend was filled with Eric and I thinking: "next year this will be even more special with all our children here". It seems to be a reoccurring theme with anything we do. We miss K and A very much, but they are in our thoughts no matter what we do. Next year...next year...

Decisions....again.....

2011-07-30T18:36:00.002-04:00

This past week has been a wonderful roller coaster ride. While I thought we would settle into a wait for our court date, God had other plans. Our home study and our I-717H approved us to adopt 3 children. We have been referred 2. Then we got a message: would you consider adopting another one? (well, there is more to it, but I will keep it short)

All week we prayed about a child and what this little ones place would be in our family. Without revealing too many details on a blog, I feel that this child will always have a special place in our family regardless of adoption. Somehow, I know we will always have some type of bond.

To be perfectly honest, I was happy to pursue this adoption. I could see our family growing and our love expanding. This child would have a place in our family and fit right in. I was nervous about our finances and my ability to nurture all 5 children simultaneously, but I figure if God was in this plan, what is there to be scared of? As I reached a confident "yes" in my heart, a different decision was made by others. This child will remain in Ghana for now.

We will be a part of this child's life through sponsorship, which we set up immediately after finding out that the adoption was not approved yet. Who knows what the future holds for this precious little one? Well, God does, but the rest of us will wait and find out. Maybe there is an adoption in the future, maybe not. I feel that this past week brought our family to a new place spiritually as we urgently sought His will regarding this child, our family and our obedience. I was physically exhausted from all the work He did in me, but I am so very grateful for it.

On a different note, we have decided on family names for our two children. They will keep their Ghanaian names as their first names (will reveal those after we pass court) and their middle names will be:

JOY and ELI

They can then choose which ones to use. We love their Ghanaian names and their birth mom explained to us where those names came from. We don't want them to sever that connection, but they can also blend in a little better using their middle names:)

God is calling me to Africa!!!

2011-07-24T20:42:00.000-04:00

Emmi in her traditional Ghanaian dress

My daughter has been praying for our family to adopt for many years. She would mention it during the years she was an only child and then when her brother joined our family, she once again would ask if we would adopt. I always said that we have room in our home and in our hearts, but we want to be sure the time was right. This was mommy talk for "I want to, but I am overwhelmed and not sure where to begin".

Ready for summer camp

Now that she knows who her brother and sister are in Ghana, she has asked us repeatedly, if she can travel with us. She has a compassionate spirit and she wants to learn about her siblings culture and homeland. But beyond that, I have a feeling that Africa is calling her the same way it has called me for years. She wants to learn and help and make a difference.

Saying good bye during camp drop off

This year at summer camp, the children lived like an African child for a day. They ate rice and beans, carried water, learned about human trafficking and about diseases. She was broken as she thought about her siblings and what their reality could have been, if they didn't find themselves at an orphanage. This day was a moving experience for all the children, but she felt that this was personal.

Pick up day- note the exhausted look on everyone's faces:)

Later that night, she prayed with her camp counselor as she was clearly overwhelmed by all that she had learned. As we were driving home from camp (before she fell asleep from pure exhaustion) she couldn't wait to tell me: "God is calling me to Africa! I don't know when or how, but I'm so excited" The same tugging that has been on my heart for years is now shared with another member of our family.I am so thankful for her sweet spirit and compassionate heart:)

Waiting....is.....hard...

2011-07-12T17:38:00.000-04:00

There is nothing easy about waiting. While many activities occupy my time, there is an underlying feeling of time standing still. I check my e-mails many times a day in case someone has posted pictures of their trips, shares a funny story when they met our children or e-mails to commiserate about waiting.

I miss these little toes and the little princess they belong to. I miss my son running towards me flashing his bright white smile and giving me the tightest hug. I can't wait to see them again and have them meet their brother and sister.

But for now...we wait....

Waiting Child

2011-07-10T09:18:00.001-04:00

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

--- © Pamela Durkota, written for Josh

Pictures....

2011-07-01T20:32:00.002-04:00

Pictures are so important to families who wait for their referred children to come home. Through the internet, I have "met" families who are traveling to the foster home. It is so nice that they take time to take pictures of our little ones and share them with us once they get home. I managed to send a care package to K and A with one traveling family and a photo with another traveling person (Thanks Anita, and the Briggs family!!!) This, I hope reminds our little ones in Ghana that we miss them and can't wait to see them again.

Today, I came home tired after a busy week of work and evening activities. I miss K and A more each day as I have not seen any pictures of them since we came home a month ago. I wonder about their health and well being. Then, I found a link on facebook that had pictures of our smiling boy. He looked happy, healthy and full of his usual energy:) There was also a picture of him holding a red tractor that Jakob had sent with us for him. It was his treasure and I was so glad to see he still had it!! Melt my heart...

So until I can hold and love our kids again, the pictures are what keep us connected.

Unfortunately our little princess wasn't in any of the pictures. But, it didn't surprise me since she is rather camera shy and so tiny compared to most of the other kids.

Break Down and a Break Through

2011-06-29T18:28:00.000-04:00

The day started with great excitement. We were going to Kwahu, away from the busyness of Accra to visit our children's foster home. Up until this point, we had enjoyed the modern conveniences of air conditioning, hot water, wifi and comfy beds. Quite honestly, I was looking forward to disconnecting from the world, even if it was for a day or two. We had breakfast with our little ones, they ate mostly chicken and fried rice with spicy pepper sauce. I devoured the sweetest watermelon and pineapple I have ever eaten. The coffee was strong and better than any Starbucks!

After a few pit stops in the city and meeting two other families, we packed into our coordinators vehicle and headed toward Kwahu. The traffic was unlike anything I have ever experience before. It seemed as lane markers and speed limits were more like guidelines than rules to live by. It wasn't just vehicles of all shapes and sizes: there were pedestrians carrying anything and everything on top of their heads that we had to maneuver around. If traffic wasn't moving fast enough, someone would drive on the shoulder or make their own dirt road alongside the paved road. Once outside the city though, I relaxed to enjoy the scenery as we drove higher up the mountain and the city became smaller below us. The air was easier to breathe and much cooler and I found a comfortable position to snuggle up with our girl and a sweet 7 year old girl that traveled with us.

It was about half way, when smoke appeared from our coordinator's vehicle. Once he pulled over it was apparent that the vehicle needed repair there and then. The sun began to set as our coordinator was arranging for help.

This is what I love about Ghana: a car breaks down and within minutes there are people from the village bringing oil or bringing supplies to help. It must have looked strange to them to see a car full of luggage, two obrunies (white people) and Ghanaian kids on the side of the road. Our coordinator had to go and make arrangements for us to make it to Kwahu, so Eric and I stayed in the vehicle with the kids, as the sun finally set and it was pitch black outside. The vehicle broke down right in front of a church and there in the darkness, holding my sleeping daughter I had my "break through" moment. It was just God, Ghana and me.

I closed my eyes and just soaked in the sounds of the church choir singing. I chuckled a bit as one of the loudest singers would sing "off key" reminiscent of someone back home. They sang with such conviction and joy in their voices and it made me reflect on our adoption thus far. I thanked God for the sweet children that were in the vehicle with us, for placing us on this adoption journey and for providing for us every step of the way. I stroked the head of my sleeping little girl, feeling each individual curl in her short hair, her soft cheek pressed against my chest and tears began to slowly flow from my eyes. It was at that moment that I "got it". Nothing about our adoption was a coincidence. God had orchestrated every single detail, even this break down at the side of the road and this was exactly where I was supposed to be. And these children, despite their past hurts and challenges, were meant to be a part of our family. I had a new son and a new daughter

<3 jenni

Swimming Pool

2011-06-22T15:17:00.001-04:00

When our son was told that he would be traveling to the city to meet his Mommy and Daddy, he had told our coordinator the one thing he wanted to do was to go to the swimming pool. It seemed like such a simple wish for a boy that was coming to the city for the first time. Of all the things he could have wanted to do or the places to see, he wanted to go to the swimming pool.

We did not know about his wish, but as soon as we were at the hotel, this was the one thing he talked about in English. He was searching for it at the hotel and he was sooo excited when he found it. I was so glad that I packed swimsuits for both of the children. The first day, our plans didn't allow for swimming. The next day we had a long drive to the village and due to car trouble, we arrived late. Now, we were scrambling at our village hotel, since we had some activities scheduled for most of the day. Eric was determined that his son would get to swim on this trip. So we decided that after breakfast, it was swimming time.

Then.....we saw the pool. I have seen swamps that are more appealing. There wasn't the familiar smell of chlorine. Eric couldn't see the bottom, so we had no idea how deep the pool was for swimming.I don't know if the other guests of this hotel didn't swim and the pool was not attended to, but they promised to clean it for us. After what seemed like an hour of cleaning, the kids were by the pool excited, ready to go swimming. Our son showed me how he was going to jump in, swim and he motioned a breast stroke that he would do in the water. I had no idea if he knew how to swim or where he had learned to mimic the breast stroke. We were finally told to use one side of the pool while they cleaned the other side. Now, I believe the dirty water can travel to the clean side, but since Eric was willing to go, I wasn't going to stop him. He will get the "Husband of the Year" award from me, just look at that green water in the picture...

It was the sweetest sight. After all the excitement, we saw him become extremely nervous about the water. Our brave boy was clinging to Eric and hesitant about the feeling of floating. He looked to his Daddy for a confidence boost. Our son was scared to let go, but at the same time his dream of "swimming pool" was coming true. As Eric encouraged him, our son would loosen his grip, allow his legs to float and then he made the swimming motions he had been practicing on dry land. Trust was established, Daddy did not let go of him.

As we told our coordinator in Ghana about the swimming experience, he shared with us our little boy's wish. I couldn't believe that we almost missed our son's simple wish of "swimming pool". It was such a wonderful bonding experience for Eric and him that I think Daddy would have gone to muddiest, slimiest water to experience it all over again.

<3 jenni

Our children

2011-06-10T18:48:00.000-04:00

I think the easiest place to start to share about our trip to Ghana is to tell you about our children. Actually, we are still waiting for the courts in Ghana to officially call them our children, but in our minds they are our children. We received information about a boy and his younger sister a few months ago through a waiting children list. We felt that they were meant to be a part of our family from the moment we received information about them and saw their faces on a referral photo. They had arrived at the foster home a couple of weeks earlier. We kept receiving information about their background and personalities over the following weeks as we finished our homestudy and complied our dossier for Ghana. Once all of this was done, I asked our wonderful agency, About A Child what we do next. Our coordinator said: "plan a trip"!!! 2 months after learning about our children, I booked our flights to Ghana and another month later we were on our way. I could not have believed this in my wildest dreams:)

All this time, I was trying to guard my heart in case of bad news. Maybe the children would go to another family, maybe they were no longer available for adoption etc. But secretly, these were my children and I would do whatever it takes to get them home. Even as we made our way to these precious children, I kept waiting for some unexpected news, but there in the middle of pouring rain, we saw our children for the first time.

Our son is 5 and is an energetic, outgoing, giggly little boy. He loves to dance and he loves to be the center of attention. He has a sweet affectionate side that craves the love of a father and he was by Eric's side constantly. In one video clip I took, I see him play with his friends, but every few minutes he searches for Daddy with his eyes or runs to hold his hand. While he is skinny, he is incredibly athletic and loves to play soccer (or football as they call it in Ghana). We were impressed by his English skills considering how recently he started school. I am convinced that him and Jakob will be great brothers and friends.

Our daughter is 3 and is more reserved and quiet when you first meet her. But watch out, when she is comfortable with you, she is full of energy and talkative. She loved playing with her baby doll, but will grab her brother's cars and join in with him as well. She can make her wishes known, even though she doesn't speak much English. She loves to be held, carried and rubs her little ear when she gets tired. She has a wonderful relationship with her brother, but isn't afraid to boss him around when she wants something.

Until the courts pronounce them our children, I don't want to show their faces in pictures. There is a reason why we couldn't go to court while in Ghana and I hope it doesn't cause a delay in having our children join our family soon. Gods timing is perfect, even though my heart is broken into a million little pieces while I wait.

<3 jenni

We are home from Ghana

2011-06-03T17:53:00.000-04:00

I haven't even started to unpack my thoughts and feelings from this trip. We met our children, fell in love and had heart wrenching goodbyes with them. We experienced many wonderful and many sad things all at the same time. I connected with my husband in a whole new way and saw his vulnerable side come out time after time. This weekend I hope to journal some of those thoughts publicly and celebrate the good times of our trip, but right now I am experiencing a post-Ghana funk. We left two pieces of our heart in Ghana, one in the shape of a boy and one in the shape of a girl in hopes that we get those pieces back soon....

<3 jenni

My Week in Review

2011-05-21T17:20:00.000-04:00

This is Amy's last link up for the My Week in Review, so I HAVE to participate. It's been a great way to recap some of the highs and lows of the week, the couple of times that I have done it.

{High}

Gathering donations for our trip has been a wonderful "high" this week. Not only does it show the generosity of our loved ones, but also it is a reminder that our trip to Ghana is getting closer!! We are filling tubs of clothes, shoes, coloring books, treats and toys for some wonderful kids that are waiting for their forever families in Ghana.

{Low}

ALLERGIES!!! Need I say more???

{Lesson Learned}

As I was gathering donations and going through my kids things, I stopped to think how much we really have. Not just my family, but the Western World in general. I haven't lived a day where I wondered where my next meals was going to come from, if I will have clothes, if my children will receive an education or if we have a roof over our heads. We are gathering things that we no longer need, want or are willing to part with and we still have plenty after that. I pray that I can remember this feeling the next time I feel I don't measure up to to others based on material things...

<3 jenni

My Week in Review

2011-05-15T18:55:00.001-04:00

Linking up with Amy this week, to share the highs and the lows of my week.

{High}

Packing has been the constant high moment this week. I have witnessed my children use their own money to buy coloring books, stickers and special treats for the children we get to meet very soon. We have also packed clothes and shoes that I know will be very much appreciated. For my family, it's not about the stuff, but how God stretches us and teaches us constantly during our adoption journey. My little ones are being molded right in front of my eyes and I am so grateful for that. I wonder if I would be witnessing this if had not said "yes" to adoption?

{Low}

A friend informed me that her daughter was hit by a car. The circumstances were horrible, and she could have lost her life or suffered permanent damaged if it wasn't for God's protection. After a long night at the hospital she is recovering at home... Seeing a friend in such pain is a low indeed...

{Lesson Learned}

Life can be so unpredictable. Just a year ago, my thoughts were not on Africa the same way they are today. Orphans were just an overwhelming "concept" that I felt paralyzed to do anything. I had such "all or nothing" attitude that if I couldn't make a huge difference, why even try? Taking that first step and deciding to do something instead of nothing can be so powerful and I know our current journey is just the tip of this iceberg. Lesson learned, God. Lesson learned...

<3 jenni

Ghana Trip

2011-05-04T14:51:00.000-04:00

It seems that it's finally sinking in: I am going to Ghana!! I keep thinking about our trip, my to-do list (that is getting longer each day) and all the things I want to do with Emmi and Jake before we leave. I know they will be well taken care of and have so much fun while we are gone. I keep a small notebook with me and jot down ideas, more things for the to-do list and thoughts as they come to me. Even though things are hectic and disorganized, I want to remember every moment of this journey. I am sure over the summer as we wait and wait and wait....I'll wish I had this many things to keep me occupied. The blessing of adopting a waiting child is that there isn't a waiting list for a referral. We have been busy from the time we contacted our agency for the first time until now and we are truly amazed that we are at the point of visiting Ghana already.

Since this ONE question keeps popping up, I will now answer it...........................

Will you meet your child(ren) in Ghana?

Yes. We hope to be able to share more about this after we get back. We hope to spend lots of time in the foster home and make progress in our adoption in general.

<3 jenni

Travel Plans

2011-04-27T20:31:00.000-04:00

I never thought I would be saying this right after our home study was finished: WE ARE TRAVELING TO GHANA!!! I just bought our plane tickets and we get to visit the country our child(ren) come from. The Ghana dossier is extremely simple to compile compared to other countries and we have that ready to go. I originally thought we might travel later this summer, but due to some limitation of scheduling on the Ghana side, we decided to travel now before our children are done with school. Their regular routine keeps them busy at home and then we can enjoy a long summer together while waiting for more progress on the adoption.

Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare for a lot of unknowns. I don't leave my children very often, so we are all dealing with those emotions. I also know it will be extremely difficult to leave Ghana without knowing when we will be back. So while I am beyond thrilled to go, I'm just keeping it real here that I need prayers to sort all of my feelings out.

I hope once we return, I can finally talk more about our adoption details. The time has not been right to share anything here yet.

<3 jenni

Home Study in Hand!!!

2011-04-21T21:58:00.000-04:00

Home study process is a huge part of the adoption journey. For us, this meant gathering medical, financial and official documents that prove that we are who we say we are. I am grateful for wonderful friends who wrote letters of support on our behalf. Our social worker is a wonderful lady who I am sure will remain in our life even after our adoption is finished. I met her today to get copies of our home study and while I am glad that the home study is finished, we both agreed that we want to stay in touch. I don't believe that God placed her in our life just for the duration of the home study.

Some of the highlights of our home study for our friends who have not gone through the process:

- Having the entire neighborhood worried as a fire truck pulled into our drive way. It was only the fire inspector conducting a part of the home study. Same madness ensued later the same week when he came back to check one smoke detector. Turns out there was nothing wrong with it, the battery wasn't pushed in all the way...oops.

-We collected reference letter from long time friends from 3 different states. Funny thing is: we "picked them up" in person. None were mailed. Yes, in the middle of all the chaos, we have traveled all over the place.

-One of the cool "God moments" of our home study: getting all our fingerprints/back ground checks back in less than 10 days. This takes about 45 days usually, which lengthens the home study process for most. We are beyond thankful for this.

So, now we are getting our dossier documents together and planning a trip to:

GHANA!!!!

<3 jenni

Spring Break Fun!

2011-04-12T18:59:00.000-04:00

We had a wonderful spring break full of family time and relaxation. We visited family, enjoyed time cooking, taking walks and holding all kinds of critters. Eric and I kept thinking the entire time how much fun this will be next year, should we have more kids to enjoy. Our spring break included:

Horseback riding....

A Llama....

Even a zipline...

It was a great way to decompress from the home study process, dossier paperwork and the anticipation of any news on our adoption... We can't wait to see the spring break where we introduce our new child(ren) to our traditions and maybe even create new ones:)

<3 jenni

Please vote for Amy!!!

2011-03-29T09:59:00.001-04:00

http://ghanaadoptthree.blogspot.com/2011/03/vote-now-please.html

(sorry the link button didn't work from my mobile device)

Amy has adopted three beautiful children from Ghana and after a significant weight loss, she has been chosen as one of the finalists on the macy's million dollar makeover. I hope you consider voting for her and spreading the word about this. It would be wonderful to see international adoption on national tv.

<3 jenni

Week in Review

2011-03-26T08:44:00.000-04:00

I have never linked my blog to others, but as I was blog hopping, I came across a neat idea. And the fact that there is a giveaway, it's the perfect time to try "linking".

Filled With Praise is a blog by Amy, an adoptive mother and she has encouraged other blogs to link with hers to write about our "week in review". So here is ours:

HIGH:

My high point of this week has been the progress made on our adoption journey. I have managed to cross off many things on our to do list, which will bring us closer to our child(ren). I don't do well with waiting, but if given a list of things to do WHILE waiting, I am on a mission!

LOW:

My low point of the week was the cold weather. After having beautiful spring days last weekend, we are experiencing cold weather, a dusting of snow and wind... So we didn't get as much as in this picture, and it did melt right away, but it might as well had been this much after a few sunny days. Spring break next week should fix that though:)

SOMETHING I LEARNED THIS WEEK:

I learned that adoption is contagious, but better feeling than the flu! When people find out we are adopting, the questions will begin to flow and I can see the thought "if they can do it, why couldn't we" form in their minds. And the truth is, if our family on an average income, a busy life and all that comes with that can adopt, I don't see why more people couldn't? Sure, the process is demanding, but for us it is NOTHING compared to what our child is going through. The uncertainty of their future, grieving the loss of a parent, longing for a permanent home... SO what if I have to run around for a few pieces of paper? Or work a little harder to afford a particular fee? We are so blessed, yet many of us consider ourselves "broke" or struggling. I try to keep things in perspective ALL the time...

Why Ghana?

2011-03-19T16:12:00.001-04:00

Children from Ghana www.ghanaweb.com

Our adoption journey has already had many twists and turns. We didn't have a country or agency in mind when we started to gather information on adoption. We decided that all those details would fall into place and it was up to us to open as many doors as possible and see most of them close in the process. We e-mailed and called many agencies, inquired about children on waiting children lists and spoke with fellow adoptive parents about their experiences and advice. We considered Ethiopia, Taiwan, Latvia, Haiti and Colombia. We inquired about children with special needs. We inquired about summer hosting programs. We listened to webinars and sent pre-applications. But as it came time to make a commitment to an agency or a program, we felt it wasn't time. During this time, there was no mention of Ghana, no thoughts if this program would be a good fit for us and no information on any waiting children in Ghana.

As multiple opened doors began to close, I had a wonderful phone conversation with a family friend who eased my frustrations and gave me the confidence to continue. Because we felt strongly about adopting a waiting child, she encouraged us to find an agency with a good waiting children program or find our child(ren) first before making a commitment to an agency. And before long, I was having a phone conversation about Ghana, an orphanage and children waiting for adoption. Our parameters were a great fit for Ghana and the process of adoption there seemed a better fit for us than any other country we had learned about. And then Eric reminded me of a friend from our past who was from...Ghana! And then I found out that the non profit organization we would be involved with is located in our home state! Many other details seemed to fall in place and I knew that this opened door was the right one for us.

So GHANA it is!!!

<3 jenni

A small announcement...

2011-03-19T08:00:00.001-04:00

Since I am adding a bunch of blogs that I like to stalk...I mean read, I can now officially announce that we are adopting from....

GHANA!!!!!

We have sent our service contract and agency fees which makes it official in my mind;)

I will add to this post later why we chose Ghana and more details.

<3 jenni

Things are moving fast...

2011-03-17T18:15:00.000-04:00

In the last week, our adoption journey is picking up momentum and it seems that things are moving fast. Each step we complete is one closer to our ultimate goal: having our child(ren) join our family. I have a to-do list that is a mile long, but I was also comforted by the fact that one document can take 45 days to complete. That means I would have 6 weeks to get all the items crossed off my list. Then, I get an e-mail from my agency and it states:"we should have this document by next Monday". What??? That's less than a week. Well, that really got me moving today and 4 items were crossed off the list.

The ladies at my Dr office were so excited to fill out some forms for me. They wanted to make sure they were signed and stamped correctly so we would not have to repeat it. Adoption can bring a smile to so many people's faces (well, except for the people described in my previous post, LOL!!!)

So if I fail to return phone calls, e-mails or texts, I am busy filling out papers and running all over the place begging for signatures;)

<3 jenni

wow....just wow

2011-03-14T17:23:00.000-04:00

I am not sure how to explain the last few days. as we are sharing the news with friends and family, the response has been anywhere from supportive to lukewarm to just plain hurtful. Years earlier,when we announced our pregnancies to the same people, the response was of overwhelming support. Of course I was subjected to the mandatory advice on breastfeeding, best baby products, pacifier use, sleeping arrangements, diaper rash creams etc. but not one person questioned our "state of mind" or ability to parent in general.

Adoption OTOH, brings out the funniest, dumbest, scariest and even most racist comments that people will come up with and feel necessary to share with us. These people seem to know the one person who experienced the most horrible adoption and thus no one should consider adopting the 140+ million orphans in the world. I am so glad for the excited, happy, supportive people in our lives, but even one "zinger" cuts this Momma's heart deeply at this point. It is always presented in the form of "concern" for our existing children, or us as parents. A baby adoption might be more comfortable for OTHER people, but we feel strongly about our ability to parent a toddler and a school aged child from a hard place. We are continually reading, learning from others in our position and we know that we may need additional resources to parent.

I have figured out that for some people adoption makes them think about the "hard stuff" of adoption like why children become orphans in the first place and it is easier just not think about it. For others, they need to deal with their feelings on racism, or if I as a white mother know how to parent an African child. How dare I ruin their blissful ignorance by doing something out of the box that they would not consider for themselves?

I have yet to find the perfect answer for all these comments (and I should say they a few compared to the outpouring of love) but I will try to find ways to be graceful and wipe the stunned look off my face:)

<3 jenni

Will you adopt a baby?

2011-03-13T09:19:00.001-04:00

I have been asked this question sooo many times. People imagine a small baby dropped off at the steps of an orphanage in a Moses basket with a note from a desperate mother who can no longer take care of their child. Maybe that happens at times, but I dont think this will be a part of our adoption story.

When we first started to discuss adoption, we both realized that we didn't necessarily want to adopt an infant. After two kids, we had the infant "experience" and we knew there were so many children over the age of 2 that need a home. We feel equipped as parents to handle all that comes with adopting a toddler or school aged child. At the same time we feel that we want to maintain birth order in our family, so we are requesting a match with a child or siblings up to age 5. Or maybe 6.

Ghana is not known for infant adoptions. Last year only 3 children under the age of 1 were adopted internationally.

So while we LOVE little babies, there is really little chance we will be adopting a baby.

<3 jenni

How long is the adoption process???

2011-03-06T22:13:00.001-05:00

Simply put, longer than I want to wait, LOL!!! Some countries are of course faster than others, but they may make changes in the middle of the process that will prolong the wait. All I know is that the process is unpredictable, full of bumps and detours. While I am expecting delays, I am not sure how my personality will deal with them:)

I have a general idea for our chosen country and I know what steps we must take to complete an adoption. That's why this blog was created, to go through the process step by step with others. From the frustrations to the joys, I want to record my experiences during this journey. I dont't want to put an arbitrary number to haunt me, so I will just say less than 2 years is my hope for this process.

<3 jenni

Where are you adopting from?

2011-03-06T22:10:00.000-05:00

In 2007, UNICEF estimated that there are 163 million orphaned children all over the world. This means that these children have lost at least one parent and 19 million have lost both parents. There are 150,000 children in the foster care system in United States that are in need of a family. Clearly, there is a need here and internationally.

Each country and government has specific requirements on who is eligible to adopt a child from that country. These requirements can include age, years of marriage, number of children in family and even what gender these children are. Also, some countries have medical condition and asset requirements that will disqualify some families from adopting.

Since we are not particularly young:) and we have been married long enough, most countries consider us qualified. But because we have a boy and a girl, we were ineligible to adopt in certain areas. We also cannot stay in a foreign country for several months, so we had to find a country that would allow us to travel shorter duration even if it meant 2-3 trips.

After considering all the factors, we are adopting from an African nation. Since we are at the early stages, you can e-mail me for the name of the country as we do not want to jeopardize anything during our process. We are learning about the beautiful people, vibrant culture and the rich history of this country and the more we learn, the more excited we become. We also know of the devastating poverty that causes so many tragedies to occur in this country, including millions of orphans and very few orphanages to help them.

I feel that we could adopt from a number of countries, but this feels right.

<3 jenni

Why are you adopting?

2011-03-05T12:23:00.001-05:00

We feel blessed to have a son and a daughter. Our life is full of joy and happiness as we parent these kids each day. We are busy with work, school, hobbies, doctor visits, play dates, birthday parties and homework as is every family with school aged children, I'm sure.With that being said, in my mind I always wanted to have a large family, just as I grew up in one. I imagined at least 4 children and I always imagined that some of them would be adopted. I am not sure where the thought of adoption came from, but it has been there as long as I have had any dreams of a family.

After having our two children, we knew we could no longer have biological children. It wasn't a big deal really, since I never thought of adoption as a "plan b" or a secondary option. I know many couples who have found adoption after fertility issues, but for us, this wasn't the case. And while it was an option I thought we would look into "some day", the process is intimidating, costly and scary (if you want to know the truth). So it was in the backs of our minds for a while, but we did nothing to pursue it.

And the last fall, it seemed that everyone everywhere was adopting. Not really, but my ears perked up whenever I heard of adoption, read blogs or adoption articles and spoke with adoptive families. The intimidation and scariness began to fade away and we finally began to have serious discussions about adoption. We listened to a few different webinars, learned about the current adoption tax credit and decided that we would start our adoption journey.

So our main reason to adopt is to grow our family. There are other reasons that I might get into later, but we have a loving home with plenty of room for more and there are children waiting for a mommy and daddy. Sounds simplistic (and it is), but that is our starting point.

<3 jenni

First post

2011-03-05T12:01:00.001-05:00

I have hesitated starting a blog, because I wasn't sure that I wanted my life "out there" especially when we are in the process of adoption. But the more I have thought about it, this is the best way to keep our family and friends informed of our adoption process, find others who are adopting and create a life book for our adopted children of their family's journey to find them.

We have now shared this news with some family and friends and I anticipate sharing the news with everyone soon. So far all the people we have told have been happy for us and supportive of our decision. There have also been many questions about our adoption: why are you adopting? Where are you adopting from? How long will this take? How can you afford this? Will you adopt a baby? Do you know who your child is? Do you get to pick a child or will you be matched? Which agency are you using? And on and on and on...

I welcome all the questions and I will attempt to answer all of them. But also please understand that certain aspects of the adoption process are private and sensitive. The fact that a child becomes an orphan is painful and those details will be our child's to share when he or she is old enough to share them. While it's ok to be curious about this, it isn't something we want to publish until this child can comprehend and process on their own.

In the next few posts I will answer some of the more common adoption questions so you can learn more about why we are adopting and where we are in the process.

<3 jenni